Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
