you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Just put a picture of dead dolphins on her wall...told her the oil spill was her fault.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Randomize
