I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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