i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
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