i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Randomize
