have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
