im holly from the hills drunk
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
Randomize
