I saw his package. It spoke to me.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize