I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I'm still waiting for God to smite you for impersonating a decent human being.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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