what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
Randomize
