my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
