If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
Randomize
