when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
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