i already hear my dad disowning me
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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