I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
