Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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