And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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