I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
