she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Randomize
