i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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