This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize