i barfeds in our rink
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
A guy wearing a hard hat while floating the river. It's the most responsible drinking we saw all day.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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