Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
