To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
NoShamevember. You game?
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I drunkenly said, "That's my future father-in-law!" And everyone made an uncomfortable / disgusted face... including the aforementioined future father-in-law. Maybe I should start dating other people.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
Randomize
