And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize