people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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