We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Can you check on Mike in the bathroom. It's been like 20 min.
He's fine. He's just standing at the trash can in line for another beer from the keg. Nbd.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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