Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
