How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
