I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
