I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize