Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
