The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
You know you need to hit the gym when you're not strong enough to get the cork outta the wine bottle. And you know you're a drunk when that's the only motivation to do exercises
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
so I just realized.. of my 70k student loan debt, most of it went toward bar tabs, eightballs, and sweet-ass ties to wear to gamedays and other people's weddings. I think about shit like this while I'm at my mid-level management position. you know. "working."
Look upon your future, America, and despair.
Randomize
