Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
