i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
