whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
Randomize
