Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
