she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
