Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
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