we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize