the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
