good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
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