Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
Randomize
