I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
