he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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