Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize