They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
