38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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