When you're about to leave, tell him "bye." At that point, he should say something. If he doesn't say anything, well, our drinks were free and he gets a free make out with yours truly.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
