I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i dont even know how to be here
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize
