No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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