Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
