My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
Randomize
