Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize