Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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