shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Pants 0. Shit 1.
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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