Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
