dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
I have a story that starts with Nutella and ends with sex in the laundry building at RIT.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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